


Why Do I Love You?

by mishalki



Category: South Park
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt No Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Multi, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Relationship, Secret Relationship, This Is Just A Big Pile Of Angst, Unhealthy Relationships, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-12
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-07-14 17:13:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7181981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mishalki/pseuds/mishalki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is a rp turned story made by me and my friend Jinx The Wicked on Virtual Space. This is not our original plot idea, all credits go to this comic right here:</p><p>http://everybery.deviantart.com/art/I-hate-everything-about-you-190318523</p><p>We only did a certain relationship, not all</p><p>Please enjoy</p>
    </blockquote>





	Why Do I Love You?

**Author's Note:**

> This is a rp turned story made by me and my friend Jinx The Wicked on Virtual Space. This is not our original plot idea, all credits go to this comic right here:
> 
> http://everybery.deviantart.com/art/I-hate-everything-about-you-190318523
> 
> We only did a certain relationship, not all
> 
> Please enjoy

 Snow fell outside, drifting down slowly as small wisp. The lawns of different yards were covered as well as bits of the sidewalks and street. Two figures stood outside in the falling snow, heading to a destination unknown at the time.

 A black haired girl, clearly loving the color purple, clung onto the arm of a taller blond headed boy. Wendy and Gregory. Repeatedly, the two exchanged smiles and short stories as they walked down the sidewalk. Snow caught in their hair every now and then, like any normal day. They looked as if they didn't have a care in the world. Well, smiles can hide dark secrets within, but don't we all do that?

 "Do you really have to leave so soon? You can come back to my house." The raven girl looked up at the boy, clinging to his arm tighter. They stood outside his house, exchanging a few more words before he had to depart.

 "I'm sorry my dear Wendy, I have something I have to do. I may stop by later." The blond boy looked down at the girl and smiled again. The British male grabbed Wendy's chin, using his thumb and index finger to gently lift her face up and kiss her. The thing that ran though his mind was: _is it empty or actually meaningful?_ Gregory had pulled back and watched her walk away. And then went blank face and sighed. He then started inside.

 From the second floor of the house, stood a short and lean figure. His arms were crossed over his chest and a cigarette hung from his lips. Christophe continued to stare out the window even after the girl walked away. He saw everything. The talking, the contact, the kiss. He took a drag of the stick and sighed, closing his eyes. He's seen it before, the kisses shared between the two, but he doesn't care. He knows what to expect by now. He's learned to accept that his " _relationship_ " with the male is strictly business.

 Gregory sighed as he walked inside, firstly, taking off the coat he wore. "I'm home." This is a normal thing to say now. He barley stayed there now however. Wendy always wanted him over at her place so that's where he went. He picked up a paper on the table and leaned on it while flipping through the pages. The smell of smoke drew closer as the sound of someone walking also became louder.

 The footsteps walked into the room, stopping in front of the British blond. "For once." Christophe kept his tone bland, hiding how he really felt about the whole thing. He never showed emotion in their relationship anymore. It faded a long time ago, as well as his sense of independence. Every moment Gregory wasn't at home, he spent feeling empty. He did nothing at all; he didn't know what to do if he had to be honest. A frown etched his face and he dropped his arms, letting them hang by his sides loosely. He should be used to this, but he wasn't.

 Gregory snorted softly to himself and turned the page. "I'm home almost every day." That was a lie. He felt bored, as he did all the time here. This relationship was down to an art; home, sex, leave. That's it. He didn't understand why they were even with each other anymore. The sex? It was great. The relationship itself? Was horrible. Neither of them put any effort in it anymore. At the beginning, the spark was something that made Gregory excited to be with Christophe. He wasn't sure when this ended but yet they were still together. Living in the same house, sharing the same bed, living in the same bland relationship. Was it even worth it anymore?

 "Yeah, sure you are. I never see you here anymore. The only time you do come home is for sleep and sex; that's it." He snapped, keeping his yelling low. The tanner male was attempting to keep himself from crying. He couldn't in front of this man; it'd show weakness. That wasn't allowed in this relationship anymore. "And don't you dare deny it." This hurt to say, but it was the truth. The only thing they ever did anymore was sleep and fuck. The sex was good, but there was no love behind it. That disappeared years ago. They still shared things with each other, but there was no feeling behind it.

 Gregory sighed slightly and yet...he had a smile. He put down the paper and walked closer to the smaller French male. He wrapped an arm around his waist and used his other hand to cup his cheek. "Come on Chris, we do stuff together don't we?" The Brit purred softly and kissed the tanner male's nose. "You can't deny _that_." Work your way towards it. That was also a big thing. Gregory still had that smile. That smile that hid all the damn lies.

 Christophe looked down, not being able to bring himself to look at the blue eyes gazing at him. The kiss felt like a slap to the face; it hurt. The smile Gregory wore meant nothing to him, it just hid all his secrets he never told the Frenchman. "Don't turn the damn tables to me." He held his tongue from speaking more yet he reached up to hold the blond's shoulders. _This didn't mean anything_ , he told himself, _it's a trick_. He can't fall for it again.

 "Oh come on Chris, lighten up." Gregory lightly grabbed the bottom of Christophe's shirt, tugging it slightly as he spoke. "You act like you hate it," He lifted it up some, "You know you love it." His cold hand trailed up the tanner male's back as he lifted the shirt. "How about we do it again? You're pretty good at it you know." Gregory smirked. He just didn't know the meaning of love anymore.

 _Don't fall for it; he's just using you for your body. It's not love. It's not love_. No matter how many times he told himself this, he never listened. Christophe felt his grip move to the Brit's neck, pulling him closer. "Just shut up you British bastard." He looked up and pushed their lips together, his eyes beginning to burn. Don't cry now.

 The cold against the warmth of his skin made him shiver, his frame trembling. He wanted this, but he didn't want the hurt that came with it. He knew Gregory was justing doing this for his own pleasure, not out of love.

 The kiss; it was warm and cold. It was a burning, warm war of emptiness. Gregory didn't bother to even do the shirt now. He was in a hurry at the moment. The Brit went straight for the Frenchman's jeans, not caring if he wanted it or not. They were still in the art...now fighting was involved. He wouldn't be surprised if Christophe finally got tired of him and kicked him out. Gregory always shrugged it off, Christophe would never leave him and he knew it. Love or not; lies beat the love.

 Christophe finally felt the tears form in his eyes and a few fell, leaving trails down his cheeks. He hated this. He hated this...but he loved it so much. The heat of the sex, the hate of the moment, the feeling of regret afterward. He didn't want it to leave. Ever. He didn't stop the blond when he pulled his jeans down. It was a feeling that was far to familiar to him. The art was coming back into routine. He tore at Gregory's shirt, popping the buttons off. It always got violent and he loved it.

 Gregory had allowed the smaller male to unbutton his shirt. That's how it usually was anyhow. Leaning over him, he bit the other male's neck. _Harshly_. He knew he left a mark, he knew it hurt, but he also knew that the mark wasn't empty. Usually, love was behind it, but between the Brit and the Frenchman. _Possession_. That's all it really meant:  _you're mine, I don't care if the love is gone, you're mine and mine alone_. Or was that a lie too?

 Christophe tilted his head back, letting out a loud whimper. Damn, that hurt like a bitch. His eyes darted over to the other adult latched onto his neck. The curly, blond hair came out in a blurr as tears blinded his vision. He was this man's property and that's all he ever will be. Just something for him to own. He could feel his face burn, from the tears or the tension, he didn't know.

 Gregory had turned Christophe over. His back was now on the taller male's chest. The art was back, the meaningless sex was back. Great. No longer for love, just pleasure. No more taking time and enjoying each other. Get it over with and get out. Perfect... but was this the life they were really going to stick with? Well there's an answer to it; the smile says yes. They'll never stop this. The empty feeling was now here to stay, no matter what the spark would stay gone. Like the flame on a candle; the wind got to it and blew it out. And no one has a flame to light it back.

 It wasn't the physical pain that made him cry more, it was the emotional pain of knowing that they were falling back into the same patterns. The meaningless ruts just to get off. Stress, anger, sadness; it didn't matter. They used each other to work off emotions that interfered with their plans. Breathless gasp, forced moans, pathetic whimpers. They were just noises that animals made. That's what Christophe and Gregory had become, animals. They did this for themselves, not for the other. This relationship was horrid and he n _eeded_ to leave. If Christophe didn't leave, he'd be no better than those fucking guard dogs he hated so much. But he couldn't bring himself to leave. He depended on Gregory too much.

 The sex only stopped when one got off before the other. Gregory usually left Christophe is a pitiful state and he did the same thing again.

 After the...well, "fuck" as some would call it, definitely not love making, just sex, Gregory had gotten redressed and sat on a table waiting for Christophe. Once he did, Gregory slipped on his jacket again. "I'm going over to Wendy's, I'll see you later this evening." He started out the door but stopped when he heard his name. Gregory turned around. "Yeah, what do you need?" He stared at the smaller, tanner male with an arched eyebrow.

 _Don't say it. Don't do it. Turn away and leave him_. Christophe went against his better thoughts and judgements and held his hand out, his body still shaking. "We'll do this again, correct?" He already knew the answer, but he wanted to hear it from the British fuck. To know that he was coming back. He always had that sense of anxiety whenever Gregory left. He had the fear he wasn't coming back home.

 Gregory had paused for a moment before shaking his hand. "Of course we will". The art was there to stay. The way they always spoke; emotionless. That was there to stay. There was no ending this. No love was shared between the two anymore, but even without love, they needed each other. Christophe needed Gregory and Gregory - though he'll never admit it - needed Christophe. He then turned away and left, heading out to that raven haired girl he was with every day. The same, exact, thing.

 Christophe watched him until he was out of sight, something he did after every encounter. He did it because he feared he would never see him again, that this would be the last time Gregory ever walked into the house.

 He finally realized how sore he was and leaned against the wall, sliding down until he was seated on the carpet. He rested his head against the wall and reached into his pocket, pulling out a lighter and cigarette. Placing it between his lips, Christophe lit the stick and took in a deep breath, blowing out a cloud of smoke. He leaned his forehead against his hand and grit his teeth.

 It was only then he started to sob. No one was around to hear, so why hide it now?

 He cried knowing that this was never going to end.

 He cried knowing that he would die unhappy, depending on Gregory and this relationship for his meaning in life.

 He cried knowing that...he didn't care if this was unhealthy or not.

 Ever since they fell apart, Christophe told himself that he hated the blond. He promised that he would never fall in love with him again. Unfortunately, he broke that promise. Now, he's asking himself, _why do I still love him?_

**Author's Note:**

> Please like, comment and review! It would be greatly appreciated.
> 
> Here is the playlist for the fic:
> 
> https://soundcloud.com/strawberry-waffles-308206850/sets/gregstophe-fic-playlist-2


End file.
